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Westham Gauge
Gauge Height: 4.62'
Flow: 3710 cfps

Trail Conditions: Richmond

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Todays Tides: Richmond Locks

High Tide: 6:30pm
Low Tide: 1:06pm

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Mountain biker suffers seven-week erection

Seven freaking weeks!

Seven freaking weeks!

With all the thought and technology devoted to preventing head injuries, perhaps we’ve neglected some of our other more sensitive areas.

A 22-year-old mountain biker in Ireland recently sought medical attention after a crossbar-related injury left him with an erection that lasted seven weeks. The ailment, known as priapism, was caused by a straddle injury that resulted in irregular blood flow to the, ahem, penis.

After enduring his condition for five weeks, the unnamed cyclist finally sought medical attention. Doctors first attempted to cure the condition using “manual compression” with some success, only to find that the erection would return shortly after the treatment. Next they applied a pressure dressing to the area for two weeks only to find that the erection returned immediately after the dressing was removed.

Only after applying gel foam and four platinum coils to a connection between two essential veins and arteries, were doctors able to end the man’s erection. “We are very happy with the outcome,” one medical technician told the Irish Examiner.

Fortunately, bicycle manufacturers have been made aware of the risks their products present to our genitals, male and female, and, as the CDC notes, have been developing seats specifically designed to alleviate pressure on the urogenital area.


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